theres a little joke about chainsaw man fans, they say that they're downbad. <br> <br>

honestly, after watching the first ep, i get them now. imagine a lonely, sad guy seeing someone get love, get a hug, be loved for no reason. the thought of being loved even tho you dont really deserve it. the thought of someone hugging you just because you asked for it.<br>
i think you'd figure out that im not doing good right now. everything is a mess. nothing makes sense anymore. i dont have a will to live. <br>
i dont know if im going to alive anymore, i dont know if im going to suicide anymore, i just wanna stop existing for a bit. i want a break, just a few days to get stuff back together<br>
<br>
thanks, for everything. i'd ask for a hug but i dont deserve it. <br><br>

-zak, 2022