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2022, aug 31th <br>
why am i so taken away by the internet? why do i waste so much time on it? whats so appealing? <br>
IMO, i feel like the answer is easy; anonymously and connection. <br> <br>
iirc, there was a test where people had two options to do something sinister and something nice, 50% of subjects had a mask covering their face, and that group did more sinister things. <br>
if i do something fucked up, or something wrong, i feel anonymous. i feel like im not affected by my actions. <br>
and as connection, its easier to find people in a community online. everyone feels so close and is easier to contact. <br>
again, this comes right back to my severe need of attention. i want people around me, i seriously love my online friends but i end up being annoying without wanting to. <br>
i think i already said this multiple times on the last mald, but im lonely. extremely lonely. i cant communicate with people in my country, its hard, mostly because my multiculturality, so i try to bond with people online, but i feel lonely physically <br>
i dont think im entitled to being held, but it would be so nice right now. i want to put down my shields. i wanna be comfortable with someone. <br>
i know its a lot to ask for, especially with my shitty personality. <br> <br>
now leave, go be useful, i cant do it myself so i ask other people to do it. such a hypocrite
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